Sleep

Warm blankets and cool pillows comfort my bare skin as I snuggle deep into the safest place I know. The ache behind my eyelids eases as I adjust to the darkness and try to close my eyes, finally. Tired tears - those that sneak out and stream away slowly after a long yawn. Feeling my own breathing decelerate and making a mental note of it between things I have to do tomorrow and things I want to tell you. Knowing somewhere in the bottom of my skull that this isn’t easy, but pushing that connected knot in my gut further down. Shrinking into the smallest form possible around my core. The smell of clean sheets. The ticking of my internal clock. The realization of being alone. The actualization of loneliness. Things much greater than myself and love much lesser than my own. The tiredness, sheer exhaustion hitting me in waves. This is how I fall asleep these days. I think myself right into a deep slumber in which I dream, sometimes about you. I am never without you, even when I am completely alone. And I know I can always call.