I Am Not Yours

As my eyes open to the morning light, my body feels exhausted and my mind tells me to roll over and go back to sleep. But you see, it’s not the normal teenage laziness that we all experience in the morning. It’s something that makes my heart drop and my body feel so tired that I can’t find any reason to crawl out of bed. It’s the thought of having to walk by people, pass by the spots where we were together, choking back tears. It’s moments that I’m quiet for too long, where people ask if something is on my mind. My self-worth has been on a path of twist and turns, all downward, and frankly, I can’t do it anymore. It’s hard to see your face every time I close my eyes and not feel like total shit because I want something I can’t have. I don’t want to think about the cute little texts that you send me throughout the day and how you sleep with your phone by your bed in case I need you and call me your love. But the main thing that I don’t want to remember is that I am not yours and you are not mine.